FAQ about adoption

1. Where do we start?

Every family has a different journey towards their decision to adopt. See this article for thoughtful considerations one should make when considering adoption:

http://empoweredtoconnect.org/adoption-from-the-inside-out/

In addition to this initial decision, there is also the decision as to what type of adoption to pursue. You will need to research adoption programs both domestically and internationally in order to make an informed decision about which program is right for your family. Within these broad categories of domestic and international, there are many types of adoptions to consider. Here is a short list: foster care adoption, private adoption, special needs adoption, waiting child adoption, newborn adoption, and older child adoption. Social service agencies, adoption agencies, attorneys and foreign governments may all be involved in your adoption depending on the type of adoption you choose.

Fact finding on programs and agencies can be done through internet research, calls to adoption and social service agencies, and interviews with adoptive families. Many families find it helpful to “meet” other families via internet groups, blogs and adoption websites. Adoptive families are often more than happy to answer questions about their adoptions except maybe during their child’s meltdown in the grocery line at Walmart.

Howtoadopt.org is an excellent place to begin internet research on adoption. At this easy to use and informative site, you can read generally about adoption; plus, it has an Adoption Guide that makes this seemingly intimidating process clear and attainable.

Other web resources:
http://www.adoptuskids.org/
http://www.adoptamericanetwork.org/
http://www.rainbowkids.com/
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/
http://www.informedadoptions.com/
http://www.yahoogroups.com/ -search for groups by type of adoption/agency
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/
http://adoption.state.gov/
http://www.childwelfare.gov/adoption/
http://www.adopt.org/
http://www.nohandsbutours.com/
Also, see adoption agency websites for adoption program information.

2. What does the process involve?

The process will vary according to the type of adoption you are pursuing. The following process explanation is a good example of what you might expect of an international adoption process from Ethiopia or China.

After choosing an agency, you will choose a home study provider. Your home study will eventually be part of the dossier (paperwork packet) that goes to the country from which you adopt. The home study involves 2 to 4 home visits from the social worker conducting the study. You will also do parenting training and write an autobiography. The home study usually takes 3-5 months to complete.

While the home study is being completed you will be compiling your dossier. The dossier will include all of the documents required by the country from which you adopt. Your agency will provide you with this list. It will include things like, your birth certificates, local police clearance, financial information, and the forms indicating approval from the US immigration office.

Once the home study is complete and the dossier documents are gathered all of the documents will be notarized and authenticated. The authentication procedure is simple and will be explained in information that you receive from your agency.

When this authentication process is complete you will send your dossier to your agency which will then send it on to the country from which you are adopting. At this point (if not a bit before…at the approval of just the home study) your agency will place you on their referral list if you are not adopting from a “waiting child” list. Depending on the age, gender, and health of the child you are waiting for a referral can take anywhere from a few days to several months, to even in some cases and countries over a year. If you choose to adopt an older child, a sibling set, or a child with a special need you will often be able to find your child on your agencies “waiting child” list. If you adopt a waiting child, you bypass the referral line altogether.

Once you receive a referral or find a “waiting child” you will have a few days to pray about the child and if you wish, have his or her file looked at by your family doctor or a doctor who specializes in international adoption.

Once you sign the referral on a referred child or a “waiting child” you will wait for either a court date or travel approval depending on the program from which you adopt. Some programs also require that families travel once to meet their child and then a second time to finish the adoption and bring the child home.

In some countries, the adoption will be completed before you travel to bring your child home and in others you will complete the process when you are in the country to bring the child home. Some countries require that both adopting parents travel while others only require that one does. A few countries and agencies also allow children to be escorted home.

3. What does it cost to adopt?

Adoption costs vary widely. Costs seem to be from nearly $0 to $40,000. To ensure an adoption is done in a safe, legal manner the process involves a large number of people, agencies, organizations and government offices. Foreign adoption includes additional official fees and costs, as well as, travel/escort costs. When considering the cost of adoption, it is helpful to understand where the money is going. When a family has decided upon a type of adoption, one part of choosing an adoption agency should be comparing costs. While there are some unknowns, agencies should willingly provide a complete breakdown of expected costs.

While the total cost may seem daunting, many ordinary families are able to afford adoption. It is helpful that many times the entire amount is not charged at once. For some international adoptions, the cost will be paid over a year’s time (or longer) allowing families to prepare for upcoming fees. Grants, fund raising projects and no interest loans are also available to families. Take a look at this new opportunity for fund raising available at www.justlovecoffee.com. See our section on Grants and Loans for adoption for more links. Currently, there is also a $11,000 IRS tax credit available for eligible adoptive families. There is a full explanation of this credit here on our site under Tax credit.

4. What resources are out there to prepare one for adoptive parenting?

Parenting requires strength, compassion, flexibility, patience and hope. This is also the case for adoptive parenting. During the decision to adopt it is wise to consider what it takes to parent the adopted child. Once the adoption process begins educating yourself about adoptive parenting will likely be one of your primary goals. Training and education is a priority for social workers when they conduct your home study. In addition to the sessions with your social worker, there will be additional training in the form of classes and reading required. All of this education, done on your own or as part of fulfilling requirements, serves to prepare you to become the parent that your new child needs. Resources are available in the form of books, videos, classes, conferences, and support groups. The resources for adoptive parenting are many and growing all the time.

The following list is just a small sampling of what is available:

Books The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to your Adoptive Family Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents Adopting and Advocating for the Special Needs Child: A Guide for Parents and Professionals Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections Parenting the Hurt Child

Web Resources:

http://empoweredtoconnect.org/
This is a companion resource to the highly recommended book The Connected Child. There are videos and presentations by the author.

http://www.adoptionlearningpartners.org/
This site provides online courses for parents. Many of these courses are used as required courses by agencies preparing families to adopt.

http://www.informedadoptions.com/index.php
There is an entire section of this web site devoted to articles about adoptive parenting. At the home page, choose Raising from the menu bar. Also, check out the links to the writings of adult adoptees.

http://www.bgcenter.com/
Research based articles on language development and education for international adoptees

Blogs of adoptive parents can also be an excellent resource. There are many. Here is one we enjoy:
http://www.abushel-and-apeck.blogspot.com/
This author’s series called My Learning Curve provides insight and practical suggestions concerning parenting a child with attachment issues.